Adam, Where Are You?

Adam, Where Are You?

dallas I have a tendency to get lost. My husband says I have no sense of direction at all. He is right.

I can have a map in my hands and still get lost.  Maps are beneficial but once you make a few wrong turns, or if you start off by holding it upside down and set off in the wrong direction, or drive off it’s edges and lose yourself, they become pretty useless.

I am always losing myself. My husband has had to come find me a time or two. I’m thankful for his sense of direction. He seems to be able to find me, even when I can’t locate myself.

Once I was sent downtown Dallas to pick up a check for work I had been sent on such errands before and usually made it back ok. However this was my first trip downtown by myself and I was still pretty new to the Dallas area… I left the office late in the afternoon armed with my map.

I found my way downtown easy enough, but it didn’t take long before I was lost. My map had left off some pretty important information, some of the names of the smaller streets (I had zoomed out too far), information about one way streets (the route I had intended to go was now impossible), and how hazardous an area this place is in rush hour. Soon because of several one way streets which forced me to follow the traffic in directions I had never intended to go,  I was lost and couldn’t figure out how to get to my destination and I had no clue on how to get back to where I had started.

I did not want to call for help.  I didn’t want to admit defeat again. I really wanted to find my own way out of this one.  I don’t know how long I spent driving in circles around the same area trying to figure out how to get to my destination. My destination was a building that I could actually see in the distance, I knew I was in the right area, but because of all the one ways  I had no idea  how to get over to it.

I kept going around and around and around in various circles around the downtown area until my car began making weird noises and I was forced to pull over in a parking lot where it no longer started.  Thank God for cell phones. I called my husband. The first thing he asked was, “Where are you?” My response, “I’m not quite sure, downtown someplace.” I began describing buildings I could see and naming any of the signs I could see around me to help him locate me and then locked my cars doors, sat in the car and waited to be rescued.

My husband found me within the hour, sitting in the car in an abandoned parking lot, crying in my frustration and humility or I should say pride. He soon had my car going and I followed him out of the one way streets and back to the office to drop off the company truck he had to borrow in order to come find me.

11 years later, I still don’t have any better sense of direction.  I have lived in the Dallas area for over a decade now and I do know the area a little bit better. I can find my way around downtown if I have to thanks to Google GPS.

What I appreciate most about GPS is that once I turn it on, it immediately locates me and shows me where I am and what direction I am currently headed and tracks me in real time. Then I tell it where I am trying to go. Turn by turn it tells me how to get there, warning me when my next turn is coming up and how many feet or miles ahead it is.  I was made for this generation. (Acts 17:26)

I can go on and on how GPS has saved me numerous times from myself. How it has found me in the most odd places, saved my husband from numerous phone calls and road trips and how it gets me to my destination on time.  I have learned as long as I don’t trust my own instincts which are seriously flawed, and give myself over to it, it gets me there.

I have learned the same truth when it comes to following Christ; my sense of direction is seriously flawed.   As a Christian, I still have a tendency to get lost. I get distracted and sidetracked. I chase rabbit trails. I drift. I have a tendency to just follow the crowd at times. Some days I can see God at distance but I am merely circling Him, not knowing how to draw near to Him.

The truth is, often I really don’t know where I am until He reveals my position to me.  Usually this is accomplished by His revealing where He stands.  Once I see  Him, I then know where my heart stands in relationship to him, to his word.  I can then see how far I have wandered, what direction I need to set out in or when I need to turn around.

God is my GPS.  He alone knows how to find me when I am feeling lost and confused. He locates my heart instantly when I look up to Him and directs each of my steps closer towards Himself. “And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it.’ when you turn to the right or when you turn to the  left. (Isaiah 30:21)

“I don’t usually ask “Lord, where are you?” I know where He is. I know where He can be found. He has already revealed His position  to me but will I reveal my position to Him by calling out to Him in all honesty and transparency?

Sometimes I don’t like where I am at. I don’t want to admit where I am at in that moment. Like Adam and Eve, I too would rather hide and hope  He doesn’t see me. I’d rather Him find me in a more suitable place or where I am suppose to be.  But He already sees me and His question is more for me to examine my own position then for Him to locate me just like when He called out to Adam and Eve in the cool of the day in the garden, “Adam, Where are You?” (Gen. 3:8-9).

He still calls out to me with the same question, inviting me to meet with Him, but He only meets me where I am at. Not where I pretend to be  or where I would like to be, in my walk with Him or in my talks with others,  but He addresses me where I really am.  It is there alone where He meets me.

So if I truly want to meet with the Lord and want Him to find me at the end of the day or when I feel lost, I must ask myself or ask the Lord to reveal to me, “Where am I?  Where am I really right now?”

Where am I in relation to Him in this moment?”

“Have I wandered again from His way?” 

                           “Am I still on His path?”

                                           “Where did I wander today?”

In prayer I reveal my heart’s current position to Him, even though He already knows it. Still I bring it out of hiding.

Lord, I know I shouldn’t be here and I don’t know how I got here, or maybe I do. I mistrusted you again. Or worry led me here.  My fear blinded me and I got off track.

“Lord, I am lost again. I know where I am at generally… I can see and recognize some of the signs around me. I see the signs of depression, despair, fear, anxiety….. I know this is not where I am suppose to be.  I know where I am suppose to be trusting in you, living in contentment and peace but I just can’t get there. My mind has been driving around in circles and it has found no rest, so I have pulled over and am just stopping, calling it quits, will you come find me? Will you come rescue me once again and bring me back to your dwelling. Reveal yourself to me again and help me to follow you home. Lord, I give up.”

“Lord, I think my heart ran off again on me today. I know I am suppose to possess it but, I lost it yet again. It yanked the leash, the promises of your word that I was holding it tight with,  right out of my hand and took off in great fear running away from my circumstances or chasing a lust and I haven’t been able to get it back under  control. Lord, help me locate where it it is wandering or hiding and bring it back to trust in your word. Increase my strength to hold on to it. Help me to calm it and make it content to lay at your feet.”

“Lord, it’s awful dark right now in my life and I can’t see or understand anything in front of me. Everything is in such a fog that it feels like I am walking in a cloud.  I know you are beside me but I just can’t see or feel you right now. I don’t know which way I am going. I can’t comprehend what is going on around me, what is happening. Lord, Where am I ?”

I have found that answering the Lord’s question, “Adam, Where are You? How are you doing today?” is the first step to my encountering Christ in my prayers and in my journal. Every morning I set my heart towards Him by reading His word and receiving His direction. My daily reading schedule is my set meeting place with Him. I find my Lord, waiting for me in His Word between the verses ready to give me new direction, revelation, strength and encouragement for the day ahead.

Every evening I look up to recheck my position. I examine my heart in relation to Him asking “Lord, Where am I? Where is my heart this evening? Where is it resting? What has been troubling it today and causing it to run amuck and away from you? Is it abiding and resting in Christ?  Did it drift into fear, worry, distraction? Where has it been playing and  spending most of it’s time today?  Is it dirty again? Is it lost and wandering once again in it’s own imagination and fears? ”

If it has, I ask the Lord as my Shepherd to bring my lost heart back to Himself, back to His presence where it can find it’s security and rest. He finds me. He knows what worries I have a tendency to drift into.What fears. He knows exactly where to look for me. He knows exactly what dark allies I commonly return to and locates me. By His Word, He frees me when I am caught, rescues me when I am broken down and gently leads me back to fully enjoy His truth, His peace, His rest by dwelling in His presence.

Oh Lord, thank you for your patience with me. Help my wandering heart to stay close to you and to trust in your word more every day so that I no longer make a habit of straying from your Word.

Help me then, in every tribulation,
So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation,
Offered me within Thy holy Word.
Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
Ever to take, as from a father’s hand,
One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
Till I reach the promise land.