Settled

Settled

 

image A storm, a dark terrible storm, has engulfed my life and swallowed up my family. It was sudden and furiously swift. These past days have been violent and relentless. My heart has been in my throat so much that breathing has sometimes been painful. I have cried from a place so deep in my soul that sounds fail to come up out of my mouth. Tears have been so hot they feel like that they have burned a trench in my cheeks. This is a pain I have never known and I thought I knew a thing or two about pain. But this, oh this, is by far the storm of my life. I pray, I call on everyone I know to pray and ask them to ask everyone they know to pray. Only God can move this mountain. I know He will act but how and when? Then suddenly, unexpectedly, very quietly He answers. It is so sudden that it catches me off guard. Did He really just answer me? Yes, He did. I know it, I know it down in that place where my horrific cries were born. In my soul comes a quietness, a settledness, a peace. The peace that does not make sense because my circumstances have not changed, if anything they are worse. It is the peace that only God can give and He gave it to me. He assured me that my situation did not catch Him off guard. He saw it before I was ever born. He was prepared. He will not waste my pain, this will end in glory to His name. I may have to walk some difficult roads before it’s over, there will surely be more tears, more agony but it will be different because His peace is here. Jesus, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross. There is so much more to my storm than the storm itself. There will be a day when it ends, that may be weeks, months and likely years but there will come a day when the Lord will say ‘enough’ and the storm will subside and I pray that what remains will be an unshakeable testimony of His Sovereignty and power. For now I am quieted like a child by a Father who loves me more than I can fathom, who loves my family beyond measure, and who loves my prodigal caught in the grip of a hellacious roaring lion. Thank you Father for peace that comes only from you, not as the world gives, peace that settles me for the road ahead. You are worthy to be praised. So much love to you.

Love,

Penny

One Reply to “Settled”

  1. Dearest Penny, you have poured your tears and heartache out like an offering, sharing your deepest wounds; I pray that the road will not be long, that the suffering will end as quickly as it has come. My heart aches for you, my friend. Love, Carolyn