“Converse much with Christ…Delight to walk with him, to meet him, to view his beauty, to hear his voice, to taste his sweetness. Take all occasions to present yourselves before him. Depart not out of his presence, until he smiles and he speaks kindly to your heart. Stay until he reveals his presence by impressions, light, heat and enlargement. Remain until you find acceptance and peace. Enjoy his presence.” – David Clarkson
It’s hard to spend time with someone you don’t see or can’t hear which can make prayer time initially feel difficult and awkward. It’s easy to feel alone as if you are talking to yourself. You remind yourself of faith in God’s word and the promise of his presence so you keep at it. You keep showing up and talking to your imaginary friend or so it might feel some days because you just can’t see him or sense his presence beside you. As you pray, the park bench next to you seems painfully empty.
Then something happens slowly that you don’t understand. A mysterious peace floods your heart. Anxiety has faded away. Words from what you read that morning or in the days before rise to mind and address your questions, fears and concerns ministering their comfort to you in fresh ways. Why didn’t I think of that before? Confusion turns to understanding and acceptance. Before you didn’t know what to do and now you know what you must do. You have been counseled.
Or perhaps later in the day someone just happens to stop by your desk to say hello and just happens to share a story that speaks directly to your unspoken concern with the insight, precision and timing that can only come from the word of God Himself. In that moment, you know the Lord sees you. He remembers you. He hears you and He loves you. He spoke to you directly as if that person had delivered a tiny folded love note for your eyes alone from him. No one else heard him but you. No one else saw him, but you are looking around now with a smile. He touched you. He was surely there. He knew exactly where you were to be found. He knew the hidden thoughts of your heart and spoke to them.
“You know when I sit and when I arise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down. You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you, Lord know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.” – Psa. 139:2-6
Even though the world cannot see or hear him, we see and hear him and know him. And he knows us. What a wonderful thing it is to be fully known by someone and fully loved. It takes away all the explaining of the past. It takes away all of the explaining of the present of how you feel when you really don’t know how you feel or what you are thinking. Jesus knows. He knows my fears even better than I do. He knows what I am thinking before I can comprehend my own thoughts. He understands why I do the things I do and say the silly things I say better than I can ever understand them myself. I never have to explain myself to Jesus; but he is always explaining me to myself.
Christ knows us better than we can ever know ourselves. It does not matter if the whole world does not get us, does not love us, does not understand us or share our pain, when you can come before Christ’s presence and say, “Lord, you know. You know. You understand. Comfort me in this tribulation. Counsel me in this trial. Talk to me about this and help me understand and get through this.” What a superior friend we find in Jesus our Friend of friends!
Every day in the morning I like to look for Jesus. I want to briefly see his face. I want to see his smile even if it is just in passing to know he is there. I want to see his face for a moment until I feel his reassuring smile and he speaks kindly to my heart.
The first opportunity I have I look for him where I know he is to be found by setting myself in his path. I read his word. I read my favorite daily devotions. I pray. I look for opportunities to seek his face to catch a glance of him if even just for a moment.
“My heart says of you, “Seek his face.” Your face, Lord, I will seek.” – Psa. 27:8
Sometimes I need more than a glance. Sometimes I just need his presence and I have nothing to say or I don’t know what to say. In those moments, I intentionally find a quiet place, in a bedroom, behind my office door, in my car, at a park. All I need to do is bow my head to just quietly sit in his presence. Sometimes I never say anything. All I know is that, “It is good to be here.” It is like coming to a friend’s house and simply finding a chair. You know you are always welcome. You can stay as long as you like. You don’t have to say anything. Your friend usually knows what’s going on anyway. You just come to sit, to rest and to hide for a moment from the world. Such are our visits to Jesus. Sometimes I come simply to sit in his presence. To hide for a moment. To breathe in that fresh heavenly air that rejuvenates my heart. We may talk and we may not. Just being in his presence is enough to refresh me and strengthen me enough to go back out into the world.
Jesus is our counselor and friend. He is always available. We never have to worry about bothering him or bugging him too much. We never have to worry about interrupting him when he is busy. We never have to worry about approaching him at the wrong time in the middle of the night or in the third hour and finding him in a bad mood. What a wonderful comfort to know my Lord does not dread my appearing yet again in his doorway but eagerly awaits for my appearance. He does not tire of me or try to avoid me when he sees me coming. I am never left waiting for him to show up. Instead I find him eagerly waiting for me, willing to offer me some word of hope, some word of wisdom, some word of comfort or simply his presence and understanding.
No, our eyes look to him and find that his eyes are already looking upon us directly, full of compassion, pity and concern wondering why we waited so long to come to him with our burdens and to search for our friend. What a wonderful feeling it is to find Christ’s eyes upon our hearts as he answers our silent questions and thoughts. When we are able to say no words at all and no one else can hear us or understand us, we need only to fall upon him in prayer and in our tears he hears and understands our spirits groans and shares our pain.
He is always there, He is an ever present help to those who seek him. I open my Bible and he is there. I fall on my knees and he is there. I open my journal and he is there. I close the bathroom stall and bow my head and cry and he is there. I close my eyes at my desk and he is there. I whisper in my heart and he is there. I take a walk and he is there. I go to my room and close the door and he is there. I go for a drive and he is there. The world may not see him, but my heart sees him and knows he is there. He is ever with me waiting for me to seek him, to turn around from starring at my troubles and to turn to him to find his eyes are ever directly looking into mine with such love and concern that I forget the world around me for he is there. He is the ever present Jehovah Shammah (The Lord is There).
Oh, my, how you have spoken to my heart today. This is the very thing I needed to hear, as I have been lingering in a place of fear and anxiety. Thank you for sharing these beautiful, precious truths the Lord has given you to share, which have comforted me so greatly this day. I will refer back to this writing often. God has used you this day to change my focus, redirecting my despair into hope. Thank you ever so much, dear Sister in Christ.
The Lord has spoken to my heart through your eloquent words, my friend! I agree with Linda, l needed this today. Thank you!