“Though you have not seen Him, you love Him;
and even though you do not see Him now,
you believe in Him and are filled with
an inexpressible and glorious joy.”
1 Peter 1:8
Dear Father,
I am sitting here imagining what it must have been like for Mary as the lifeless body of Jesus was lowered from the cross. Surely her face was streaked with tears and His blood. Grief cuts deep crevices in the face and heart. I wonder what went through her mind between the throbbing pulses of an overloaded heart. She holds a bloody, limp body and thinks back to a day when she held a tiny, wiggling baby. “What went wrong? How can this be? He is my Deliverer but how can I be delivered now? How can we be saved? God! Help us!” Hope dashed against the rocks. And the rain comes down. Buckets full of sorrow and no one to wipe the tears away. I imagine John trying to comfort her but he is lost in his own bewilderment and grief also. They watch as a huge stone seals Him away. Separated. Now what to do? The Sabbath approaches and she is out of sight in her own world, hidden beneath blankets of sorrow. The words of the old priest Simeon haunt her like the howling wind – „and a sword
will pierce your own soul too.? And it has. Memories of the angelic news of His conception are replayed. The night of His birth relived between heaving sobs. The flight to Egypt, the boyhood teaching in the temple, and His public ministry reviewed in full color across the cinema screen of her mind. His first cry, first babble, first toddling steps, first everything and now… silence. Oh how much she wanted to hear His voice, feel His touch, smell His cloak but all she can taste are her tears and all she can hear are her own moans. But still somewhere deep in her heart she knows. She knows who He is. That is what sustains her in the moments when nothing in her world makes sense. She simply knows „He is.? That is what I know also, Father. He is. When nothing makes sense and troubling waves pound into each other, He is. When blackness covers the night and no one else is there, He is. Mary thought it was all going wrong and really it was going all right. So many times those are my thoughts as well. I look around and see shambles when really they are pieces You are reconstructing into a magnificent masterpiece far better than I ever imagined. Oh yes, the dark night of the soul fades in comparison to the Light of the world. There never could have been a resurrection without a death. Light from dark, life from death, faith to sight. So in the tough places, the dark places, the crumbly and dry places, all we need to do is remember that He is. The wait will make the glory that much sweeter. Praise you Father for Your most perfect way – the yes and amen way – Jesus. You amaze me and I love You.
Love,
Penny
